1. Infidelity- a sense of entitlement to something better
And this is kind of wrapped up with fantasy. To the narcissistic husband, the wife is really never good enough and never attractive enough. She’s not an ideal partner. He thinks he can do better. He believes he deserves to have a better wife. This is called” A sense of entitlement.”
If you combine this dissatisfaction with the fantasies of success, power wealth, and the ideal love that we see associated with grandiose narcissism, it’s a recipe for an affair.
Now having an affair by itself is actually quite destructive. But with the narcissistic husband is really beyond that. He maintains a belief that he has a right to have additional romantic partners. So he’s really not doing anything wrong in his mind.
So again, we’re seeing that sense of entitlement. Being quite pronounced at an extreme level. The husband is offended that the wife could possibly believe that she’s good enough to the extent where he would not have to have additional relationships.
2. Controls her appearance
The husband wants attention from others, and, of course, has the fantasy of the ideal love that I talked about before. Therefore, he wants the wife to look a certain way to be exceptionally attractive and appealing, even to other men.
One of the common areas where the husband can become demanding is weight management. Usually, criticizing an increase in weight more than a decrease in weight. We see no insight here, no compassion, no recognition that weight management can be very difficult. Rather, we just see criticism, guilt trips, and a general attitude of disgust toward the wife.
Interestingly, if the wife suggests that the narcissistic husband do something to increase his physical attractiveness, like, I’ll work on this if you work on that type of a situation, this is offensive to the husband.
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