10 Signs You Are Talking to a Covert Narcissist

Number 9: Unrealistic Expectations.

Covert narcissists tend to have a long list of expectations and boundaries. They may have specific topics that they refuse to discuss, demands that they insist upon, and strange one-way boundaries. For instance, let’s say a covert narcissist expects you to respond to their texts or calls immediately, yet they feel entitled to answer your messages if and when they feel like it. Even early on in the relationship, you’ll start to notice that their actions don’t match their words. They have huge lists of boundaries, but there are so many double standards. The rules are continuously changing depending on their mood or their needs.

Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.

Number 10: Label Others as Narcissists.

Covert narcissists tend to label others as narcissists and abusers. This is a defense mechanism to project their own undesirable traits, shame, and self-hatred onto others. It’s another way to gain validation and to try to influence others’ opinions and perceptions of people that they feel hurt or threatened by.

As promised, after a conversation with a covert narcissist, you will likely feel one or more of the following ways:

1. You may feel anxious and uneasy, like there’s some kind of threat lurking in the background, but you just can’t pinpoint exactly what it is.
2. You leave most conversations feeling diminished, judged, and inferior due to their criticisms and scrutiny.
3. You may feel confused or disoriented by the narcissist’s contradictory words and behavior. You may be questioning your own perceptions and feelings due to the narcissist’s invalidation and gaslighting tactics.
4. You may feel frustrated by the one-sided nature of the conversation and by the narcissist’s inability to empathize or engage with your perspective and emotions.
5. You will likely leave conversations with a covert narcissist feeling drained. You may not know exactly why you feel so off, but you know that every time you spend time with this person, you feel exhausted afterward.

Read More: 7 Dirty Secrets a Narcissist Will Never Tell You.

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