Truth #5: A narcissist’s comments of remorse may seen as sincere…
Sometimes, narcissists may seem to be remorseful if something goes wrong or if they’ve made a miscalculation, and they can say something like, “I’m sorry.” But as time goes on, they’re going to regret that. Over time, typically, they’re going to come up with an alternate explanation, and suddenly, they’re not nearly as vulnerable or as wrong or inappropriate as they might otherwise have led you to think that they feel.
So, any kind of remorse that they may have can only be temporary. It’s nice to think, “Well, this person has a conscience after all,” but keep in mind that one of the defining features of narcissism is the need to stay superior. If they let you see too many mistakes or blunders, then it’s like, “Oh no, then you’re gonna think that I’m equal, or I’m just a regular person, and I’m not,” because they have this attitude of entitlement. They start going into some revisionist history: “Well, that’s not really what I meant,” or “Now that I look back on it, I think that there were some other things involved in it.” Usually, it involves you doing all sorts of things wrong. You have to be careful about being pulled in by temporary feelings or sentiments of remorse.
Truth #6: They tend to keep a lot of secrets.
They may be secretive about money, they may be secretive about where they are, what their history is, or what their priorities might be. They want to project a certain image because the image is very important to them, but it doesn’t necessarily line up with facts. There are times when a narcissist may drive a Porsche or they may be around all these wonderful gatherings, making it seem like, “Wow, you’re really important,” when in fact, they’re just barely getting by. Or they know people, but not nearly as well as you might think. Or they tell you that they’re with someone and they weren’t; they were doing something else.
There’s that manipulative and exploitive way they craft an image, but it doesn’t necessarily match up with reality. Many times, you find that the deeper you go into it, and it becomes very disillusioning. The person you think you know isn’t that person necessarily at all.
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