Truth #9: Their condescension is a compensation for inadequacy.
When a narcissist is acting condescending, they’re actually compensating for their own inadequacy. Many times, you might be able to see it. When they are haughty or when they’re negative or talking down to you, they may actually just be revealing a kind of shallow way of thinking. But if you try to point that out, it’s like, “No, no, no, no. I know what I’m talking about.”
Narcissists are hurt; they’re damaged down at the core. Part of the reason they come on in such an overpowering way is that they’re afraid of saying, “I’m human,” or “I struggle,” or “There’s something about me that sometimes just keeps going off base. I don’t know what to do with it.” They have a hard time saying that. As you expect them to be more real and open, they can’t do that.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Truth #10: Arguments create a surge of power inwardly.
When a narcissist gets pulled into arguing with you, it actually creates a surge of power and self-importance within them. They actually kind of like it. They’ll say they hate it, but they actually like it because, keeping in mind, they like to be in that superior position.
These are ten ugly truths that I’m mentioning to you. I suspect that you can relate to, if not all of them, most of them if it’s a person that’s pretty far down on that narcissism spectrum. Now, let’s keep in mind, it’s hard for you to imagine that anybody would think and act in ways that keep these kinds of truths propped up. The narcissist is a damaged individual. That being the case, the more you engage with them hoping to take them to that mythical place where there’s openness and honesty, and accountability with one another, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
As you engage with these individuals, you need to do so with an understanding that they don’t think the same as you, and you can’t really require them to think the same as you. I know some people say, “Well, just get away from them altogether,” and sometimes maybe you do need to separate yourself as much as possible. But in the event that you have ongoing interactions with them, make sure that you match your expectations with what the truth, even if it’s ugly, with what the truth is in front of you.
Read More: 4 Issues That Drive Narcissists Crazy.
Sharing is caring!
