8. “I’m the best thing in your life.”
Narcissists have this deeply held belief that they are special, and they want the other person to praise them and to recognize their specialness. They want to remind them how special they believe they are, so they’re going to tell you, “Yeah, I’m the best thing in your life; you’re never going to do better than me. You should be so glad that you have somebody like me in your life.”
“It’s a good thing you’re pretty because you don’t have anything else going for you,” or some variation of this, basically saying, “Oh, look, you’re so beautiful, but, man, you’re stupid,” or “Man, you’re annoying,” or “No one else would be able to handle this kind of stuff for you, so it’s a good thing you’re pretty because the rest of your attributes really aren’t worth that much.” It’s another way to degrade somebody and to make them feel objectified, to make them feel like an object, to make them feel powerless, like they’re not intelligent, that they’re not capable.
For More: 8 Clear Signs You’re Being Used, Not Loved.
9. “You’re delusional.”
This is another one that people use all the time, which is to tell people, “Yeah, your reality is fake; you believe things that aren’t real. I’m a great guy; I do everything for you, and you’re delusional if you actually think that I’m this mean, or you actually think that I’m this critical. That’s just an overreaction; there must be something wrong with you if you’re saying things like that.” This is what the narcissist wants you to hear because, once again, it gives them a certain level of mental control if they can convince you that you’re a delusional person.
10. “You’re too old; no one’s ever going to want you.”
This is another one that taps into some great fears for people because I know men and women that do fear, “Well, what if I’m getting too old? What if I can’t get remarried? What if nobody’s going to want me because of all these reasons?” Well, the narcissist is going to tap into that insecurity and use it. They’re going to remind you all the time, even though that’s not true, and I see that all the time. People worry about that; they end up in great relationships later on. The fear that they can’t or that they really won’t have a quality of life, or won’t have somebody to be with, and that they’re going to be alone—that’s a huge fear for people, and narcissists will use that against you.
Suggested Reading: 10 Narcissist Nonverbal Abuse Tactics.
11. “To be honest with you…”
Starting a sentence with that, and I know that some people just talk that way, but this is more in the constellation of all of these different kinds of statements. Something that narcissists will oftentimes do is say, “Well, to be honest with you…” and then they say something that’s a lie. It’s almost like they’re warning you, “I’m going to say something untrue,” but they’ll preface it with “to be honest with you.”
12. “Well, that’s a woman for you.”
Unfortunately, that’s something I hear all the time in order to be dismissive. So, if someone feels like they’re coming from a position where they can’t feel special, or they’re not going to win an argument, or they can’t make the point that they want to make, then they’ll just say, “Well, obviously I’m superior because that’s just women behaving like women.” Unfortunately, narcissistic men take this position all the time, and narcissistic men are oftentimes very misogynistic. Not always, but oftentimes they are.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
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