Number 1: Carry yourself with confidence.
As I said, this is about the energy you carry, your overall posture, and how you show up in the world. You want to be self-assured, confident, a little aloof even, don’t kid yourself. Your body language and how you carry yourself play a big role in how others perceive you. And with narcissists, it can mean the difference between being seen as an easy mark, vulnerable prey, or actually being treated with some modicum of respect.
If you want to be respected, you need to learn how to project confidence in the way that you hold and carry yourself, and you want to do so naturally without coming off as cocky, aggressive, or unnecessarily confrontational. This means standing up straight, making eye contact, and speaking clearly, confidently, and decisively. It also means being aware of your non-verbal cues and making sure they’re sending the right message. For example, if you have a habit of biting your nails or shaking your leg nervously, or you’re constantly fidgeting and playing with your hair, you’re going to be seen as nervous and insecure, which will make you a target for narcissistic bullies.
So the best piece of advice I can give you is to work on your internal confidence so you can naturally exude authentic self-confidence externally and command more respect. In addition and in particular, when dealing with narcissistic people, you’ll want to be sure to maintain eye contact. Maintaining eye contact, especially with a posture of confidence tells the narcissist you’re not going to be easily intimidated or bullied. Again, you’re not easy prey.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Now, you don’t want to antagonize the narcissist, or anyone else for that matter with a cold psychopathic stare. So naturally, don’t forget to blink, and break contact briefly, looking down or to the side on occasion. In particular, if you’re in a situation where you want to de-escalate any kind of tension or conflict. But do not be afraid to maintain eye contact if respect is what you’re after. And be sure to hold firm if you want them to know that you’re not intimidated.
But again, if you want to de-escalate any kind of tension or conflict without communicating that you’re afraid or uncomfortable, then try this. Maintain eye contact for a count of three to five, and then just break to the side for a split second, a fraction of a second, and then reengage. This lets the narcissist know you’re confident, you’re self-assured, and you aren’t going to be intimidated or easily bullied and pushed around without actually provoking them unnecessarily.
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