#2: They start devaluing you.
Another way you know that a narcissist is starting to lose control is that they start to devalue you. Obviously, you are a horrible mother, or you’re a deadbeat dad. They’re going to start to say things to trigger you. One of the things when you’re dealing with a narcissist is that they’re really, really good at reading people. That’s how they were able to love bomb you in the first place—especially if it’s been a romantic relationship. Let’s say it’s been your husband, your wife, your spouse, your partner in some way, and this person has been with you for a long period of time. They know your weaknesses; they know what’s going to trigger you.
So, you’ll start to hear them say things to get control back over you, and they hit you in ways that they know are going to hurt you the most. You might hear, “I’m taking your children away. You’re never going to see them again. I’m not paying you a penny of alimony; you’ll be living on the street. Food stamps for you. Homeless shelter.” Things like that.
When they start to lose control, they start to either devalue you by saying, “I’m going to take all of these things,” trying to exert some kind of coercive control over you that way.
Suggested: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
#3: Or they try to love bomb you.
They might say, “Oh, come on, you don’t want to act like this. You’re really overblowing this. This is too much. Let’s just talk. You know that we can talk. Oh, how come you want to use that crazy co-parenting app? That’s so hard. That’s ridiculous. We don’t need that.”
They kind of go back into that phase of maybe trying to woo you or use their charisma to get you back. You’ll see them using whatever it was that got them into their web of control in the first place; they go back to that.
Read More: 7 Signs That a Narcissist Is Done With You.
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