Dark Truth 4: A narcissist needs you more than you need them.
They may act like they don’t need anyone; they are self-sufficient, and they may make it seem like you depend on them. You cannot survive without their presence in your life, and you may believe in all of that because of your trauma bonding and cognitive dissonance. But believe me when I say this: A narcissist needs you more than you need them, which is why the intermittent reinforcement. People ask, “Why does a narcissist behave differently intermittently, meaning why do they become nice here and there?” Because they don’t want to lose you; they want to keep you. You are their primary source of supply; they can’t survive without you.
They may stay in denial as much as they would like to, but the truth is, their existence without you is nothing. If all the sources of supply were to be taken away from a narcissist’s life, they would fall apart like this. They won’t be able to survive even for an hour; they’ll hit a crisis. For them, having no one in their life is equal to having no life, is equal to having no personality or identity. They feel colors in their life through other people’s presence, which is why they mirror and copy people. They do not have a true identity of themselves, and everything is shaped and positioned according to what they learn from others, and what they learn from other people they abuse.
Recommended Book: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse.
For these reasons, I think it would be right to say they are parasites. They need to latch onto a host to keep feeding on. They’re predators who need to hunt down their prey. But when it comes to you, you’re not like them. Yes, you may be temporarily struggling with the trauma bonding and cognitive resonance, but it’s guaranteed that once you leave the relationship, you’ll learn your lessons. You will know what you have been through; you will create strong boundaries; you will heal, recover, and you will move on to never fall for a crappy situation-ship like this ever again.
But the narcissist is destined to repeat the same cycle again and again and again, and they can’t escape it because they don’t see what the problem is. The problem is them; the biggest truth about them is their entire life, their existence, whatever they have created around them, every aspect of their life is a lie. If a narcissist were to realize this, their whole world would fall apart; it would shatter into pieces. And that is like dying to them; they’ll have to take birth one more time. It’s a rebirth for them because everything will have to be annihilated for such an individual. This is the deepest reason why you cannot waste time on a narcissist, waiting for them to change. It’s never going to happen.
Read More: 7 Weird Phone Habits of A Narcissist.
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