Well, I want you to keep standing behind your boundaries. I want you to stay focused on yourself and on your own healing. I want you to keep control of yourself and your own life. If you’ve gone no contact, I want you to stick to it. You should also keep an eye out for flying monkeys – the people who will happily do the narcissist’s bidding for them. You know who I’m talking about, right? These are the people who try to talk to you on behalf of the narcissist or who try to convince you to see the narcissist or forgive the narcissist or hang out with them. They’re the ones who take whatever you tell them and run back to the narcissist with it. You might want to also steer clear of areas you know they’re going to be and keep your business to yourself. If you’re worried about your physical safety, please don’t hesitate to contact the authorities and do whatever you need to do to get and stay safe.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Ultimately though, it’s important to see this for what it really is. For just a moment, I want you to look at this whole thing from a different perspective. This is important. The thing is, if you have managed to get away from the narcissist and out from under their proverbial thumb, it means you’ve taken back control of your own life. If the narcissist pulls all their standard tricks, you have to know you’re already succeeding in your goal to free yourself from the burden of being their source of narcissistic supply. You have to know that you’re actually already winning this so-called game. But how do I know that? How could I possibly know? Because the narcissist tells you – with their behavior.
Just think about this for a second. The narcissist has clearly recognized that they can no longer control you, and their reactions are the literal proof of that. Do you see what I mean? Considering that fact, I want you to recognize that you’re the one in control now, even as they desperately try to maintain it. And rather than feel weak and awkward and afraid, I want you to feel strong and empowered and in charge when you see these behaviors. Recognize them for what they are – a pathetic attempt for the narcissist to claw their way back into your life. These behaviors, these patterns, they are a clear reaction to the narcissist recognizing that you have taken back your power. And listen, my friend, the only way you can lose now is by letting them back into your life.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Now, I’m not the sort of person who would ever recommend revenge of a standard nature. But if you ever did wish you could get revenge against the person who ruined your life, here’s the key – live your life well. Live your life happily without them. Pretend they don’t exist. Live like they don’t matter, because really, they don’t. Be happy and be unencumbered by their toxic energy. That is the very, very best way you can win this whole toxic game – by living a life that you love, a life that you create, a life that you choose. Take the time to recognize that you no longer need to give away your power to the narcissist. Recognize that you have every right and even the responsibility to make your own choices, to like and love what and who you want, and to be the best, most fulfilled version of yourself in any given moment. It’s an amazing feeling, my friend, and I want you to have it too.
Read More: 10 Weird Things Narcissists Do When No One Is Looking.
Sharing is caring!
