Clue #2: Critical and judgmental.
Have you ever left a conversation feeling smaller than when you entered it? Confused by how your self-esteem just took a hit after a few minutes of talking? This brings us to the second thing you’ll hear in a conversation with a narcissist: a quickness to criticize or pass judgment, often right from the get-go. It’s a subtle yet powerful way that they assert their dominance in conversation. You’re going to hear them make dismissive comments or outright judgments about people they know—places they work, family members, neighbors, bosses, or co-workers. You’ll notice how quick they are to comment on other people’s choices or behaviors, or they might even criticize yours under the guise of being blunt or honest. This isn’t just about having an opinion; it’s about making others feel less than and boosting their own sense of superiority.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Now, when you’re an empathetic person, this is easy to miss because you’re prone to want to connect with others rather than to look out for red flags. You might internally make excuses for them or minimize their remarks rather than calling them on their rudeness or callousness in the moment. But other times, it’s glaringly obvious.
If you’re facing a barrage of criticism and judgment, use the acknowledgement and test method. It empowers you to neutralize negative impacts without direct confrontation. First, acknowledge the comment without agreeing to it, and then test with an empathetic question. You’re not only protecting your self-worth but also subtly challenging the narcissist’s tendency to belittle. And this provides you with valuable insights into their behavior.
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