Number 3: Future Faking.
The next one is going to be future faking, or saying things like, “We are going to go and do all of these things. The future’s going to be amazing for us. We’re going to create this amazing business. We are going to go do things together.” If it’s a romantic relationship or a friendship, they might plan a lot of different things with you in the text messages, and then they never really come to fruition.
And then they may suddenly stop responding to you at all. Sometimes that can be called ghosting. You respond back to them and then, all of a sudden, they’re not responding to you. Now, days have gone by. So you’re back and forth between this love bombing and this devaluing in the form of getting the silent treatment from them, or no contact from them at all, or ghosting.
They’re planning all this stuff with you, and then you respond back. And now, all of a sudden, you’re not hearing from them anymore. Maybe they go dark for a day or two or even longer. Then, when you start to ask them, “Hey, how come you went dark on me?” they get mad at you. “How come all of a sudden you’re all over me? You can’t leave me alone. You’re badgering me.” This is the person who was also love-bombing you and was saying you were so perfect for each other.
And so, it can be very, very confusing. That’s where you start to feel devalued. Your brain is going back and forth between happiness and joy, confusion and hurt, pain, constantly back and forth. That’s where you start to develop trauma and toxic thinking. Your brain starts feeling very scrambled because of all of this back and forth.
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