Number 4: They control you using food.
How? By restricting the amount, by passing on certain comments that make you feel like you’re eating too much or you’re eating the wrong stuff, or that you’re not hungry, you’re not supposed to eat, and that you’re not doing the right thing. You feel like you are going against something and you are committing a sin. How do they do it? They say weird stuff but under the guise of being really caring towards you. They might have the nerve to pick food from your plate and put it back in the pot. I have seen that happening. My father used to do that to my mother as well as my sister all the time, and that would make them feel so small. They restrict how much you eat and then say, “Oh, I am doing it for you. I don’t want you to gain weight.” Or the opposite: They might force-feed you.
I once remember not feeling hungry at all and not wanting to eat anything. He got really angry. I don’t know how he took it personally, as if I was criticizing him, because I was not listening. I was saying, “No, I’m not hungry. I don’t want to eat right now. I’ll eat later.” I remember he held my neck and made his hand filled with food, and stuffed it in my mouth, as if I was a dustbin or something like that. He kept doing that until I puked. I vomited it out; my stomach was not accepting anything at all. And then, instead of soothing me, he hit me, as if I disrespected him by doing something that was beyond my control. Crazy, isn’t it?
Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
They keep a hawk’s eye on what you’re eating or not eating. They may make it seem like they don’t have a problem, but they’ll be like always looking, always watching what you ate, how much you ate. If they’re obsessed about saving food, they’ll always pass comments and call you ungrateful. You won’t be allowed to leave anything on your plate. If you do, “Oh, you’re not thinking about those people who do not get to eat at all. You should be ashamed of yourself. You’re wasting food.” It’s wrong to waste food, but sometimes you don’t feel like eating. It’s just—it’s okay. Occasionally, it’s fine. No, you can’t with a narcissist like this. You can’t. It doesn’t matter how much they waste in other ways. No, that cannot be counted or talked about. You wasted just a little bit and you are to be punished.
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