Number 1: “You interrupted me” or “You didn’t let me finish what I was saying.”
This is a great way for the narcissist to deflect and to make sure that you are devalued. Whatever point it is you’re trying to make, you interrupted them, and so now the conversation comes back to all about them. They’re no longer having a conversation about whatever it is that you were trying to say. It’s all about that you interrupted, that you didn’t let them finish, that their point was much more important than whatever it is that you have to say.
Now you’re off on that tangent about that you were interrupted or maybe it’s that they didn’t like the tone of how you said it, or that you brought it up then, at that point. Whatever it is, they’re going to come up with some reason that the point that you’re trying to make at this moment doesn’t have any value because of the way you presented it, or how you presented it, or when you presented it, or that you interrupted, or whatever it is. It’s a way of actually saying whatever you said doesn’t matter right now.
Number 2: “Just because I didn’t.”
For example, “Just because I didn’t do what you said when you wanted me to.” This is a way of narcissistic manipulation. They’re basically trying to make you feel guilty, like, “Oh, just because they didn’t do it exactly the way you wanted,” or “Just because I didn’t do it exactly when you wanted to.” They’re trying to make you feel like you’re the controlling one, trying to make you feel like you’re the one who has the issue, like maybe you’re the uptight one, and you don’t want to be that uptight person.
So you pull back, saying, “Well, I didn’t mean that you had to do it right now,” or, “I didn’t mean that you didn’t do it well enough,” or whatever. Now you’re suddenly apologizing, which is exactly what they want because they want to turn it back on you. They aren’t the ones with the problem; it’s you. You’re the one with the problem. That’s their projection of whatever their issues are; they have to project them back onto you.
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