4. They lie about bieng cheaters.
Another lie that narcissists tell is, ‘I would never cheat on anyone I love.’ Narcissists are notorious for cheating, general tension addiction. And so what they’ll say is, ‘I would never cheat on someone I love,’ and sometimes narcissists just say, ‘I don’t cheat, I’m a good guy. I think it’s morally wrong to cheat. I would never cheat. I’m a Christian. I’m a Muslim.’ It doesn’t matter. I’ve coached people from all different parts of the world. And it doesn’t matter what religion you’re in, if you’re dealing with a narcissist, they don’t pull the religion card, and they’ll make it about morality. ‘I would never cheat because I’m a good guy or I would never cheat because I’m a Christian or a Muslim or whatever or I’m a Hasidic Jew and I would never cheat on you.’
When you’re dealing with a narcissist, that is a complete bold-faced lie. And so that is another lie that you will hear a narcissist use is that they will never cheat on you. And again, in my humble opinion, I think it goes back to wanting to confuse you. This isn’t me beating up on any particular religion; this is me saying that narcissists exist everywhere, and oftentimes religion and cheating are used as a cover to confuse the narcissistic abuse victim. You tell someone, ‘I would never cheat on you,’ and then when their friend comes up and says, ‘Oh, I think your husband or your wife is cheating on you,’ the first thing that happens is, ‘That can’t be true.’ And we don’t realize it’s because there have been months, sometimes years, sometimes decades of brainwashing. ‘That’s not me. I don’t cheat.’
5. There’s something wrong with you.
Another lie that narcissists tell is, ‘There’s something wrong with you.’In order for a narcissist to continue what they do, they have to convince you that there’s something wrong with you. Narcissists have to be in the mode of servitude. The victim has to believe that their experience is for the narcissist, catering to the narcissist, acquiescing to the narcissist, and it’s all about setting the stage. Narcissists set the stage that they’re this amazing person, altruistic person, well-intended person that is so worldly and so well-versed and so educated and so important down there.
And so they’re telling all these background lies, and to keep the lie going, you adore them, like a fan, they have to confuse you with the sense there’s something wrong with you. That’s one of the biggest lies narcissists tell is that it’s not me, it’s you. There’s something wrong with you. So if you live with narcissus, at work for a narcissist, you will feel consistently like this person that you care about believes that there’s absolutely something wrong with you, and they want you to believe it too. So that’s a lie that they tell.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
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