Sign 1: Chasing the thread.
The first sign is that you are chasing the thread. In other words, you start texting someone and realize that unless you text them back, they don’t text you back. So you’re chasing the thread, right? It’s a one-way texting situation. It’s not fluid, and you feel like if you didn’t text this person back, you’d be wondering: “Would they even care? Am I on their radar? How invested is this person in trying to get to know me?”
Now, when you’re in a relationship with someone—or at least beginning a relationship—and if they’re interested, they act like it. If this person is worth your time, then they don’t make you chase them, right? You get the sense that they’re genuinely interested, even through text. It feels fluid.
But a sign that you’re wasting your time early on is that you’re the one chasing the thread. You have to be honest with yourself: “Am I chasing this bumper?”
I remember Oprah Winfrey sharing a story one time where—either metaphorically or literally—she talked about how she used to chase after men. So, if you’re a chaser and you feel like you’re chasing the thread, you have to be honest with yourself, dear one. You have to say to yourself: “No more. Leave it right where it is.”
Because as long as you keep giving your energy to this, it’s like you’re giving your energy to a black hole. And there are people who enjoy being chased. If they’re making you chase them in a text, they’re going to make you chase after their love. And that’s just no bueno. You deserve more.
For More: 5 Shocking Addictions All Narcissists Have.
Sign 2: They Never Answer Your Texts.
You send a text, and it takes days for them to answer—or even a full day. If someone was really interested in you, I mean, come on—who doesn’t have their phone on them these days?
Yes, there are people who aren’t glued to their phones—and kudos to them. I believe there is a portion of society for whom phones just aren’t that important. One of my daughters, when she’s working from home, keeps her phone in the bedroom and doesn’t use it during work hours. I think that’s great. There are people like that.
But generally speaking, when you’re in the dating scene, on dating apps, trying to get to know people—you’re likely near your phone. So, there’s really no reason to wait a day, two, or a week to answer a text.
If someone doesn’t respond to your messages, either they want you to chase them or they’re just not interested. So don’t invest your time in someone who isn’t invested in you.
Would you spend your money at a restaurant if the staff made you wait for hours to sit at a table, even though the place was empty? Probably not. You’d say: “You know what? I can take my money and go down the street where it will be appreciated.”
Think of texting that way. If someone doesn’t text you back, don’t waste your time. If your money isn’t appreciated at a restaurant, don’t eat there. If your time and energy aren’t appreciated in a texting situation, walk away.
Suggested Book: Prepare to Be Tortured: The Price You Will Pay for Dating a Narcissist.
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