#7: Hoovering old sources of supply.
If they can’t find a new source of supply or they simply don’t want to make the effort, they will reach out to old sources of supply. Most narcissists have a list of old suppliers, such as exes that haven’t fully cut them off yet. The ex might think that they are special because the narcissist is still reaching out to them after all of this time, but no. What is actually happening is that you’re like their convenience store, their backup plan, and the person they go to for a quick fill-up anytime their tank is low. So maybe the narcissist is in a relationship, but when they’re alone and bored, they reach out and flirt with you, or they call you to complain about their new relationship, or maybe they tell you that they can’t get over you. Whatever it is, it is aimed at getting supply from you quickly. They are likely reaching out to a bunch of people at the same time, and whoever responds first gets to fill their tank.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Okay, so those are some of the things a narcissist will do when they are alone, but here is one thing that they are definitely not doing: they are not facing reality or facing their feelings of shame. Most of their waking hours are spent trying to distract themselves from their sad, lonely, empty, shameful inner reality by using others to maintain their delusional fantasies. So if you are constantly seeking supply to uphold your fragile ego, if your entire self-image relies on external validation, then narcissistic personality disorder is a possibility, but it’s not the only possibility. If you suspect you may have NPD, consider reaching out to a mental health therapist who specializes in this disorder, who can help you manage your symptoms, regulate your emotions, give you better-coping strategies to deal with feelings of shame, as well as help you manage your relationships better.
Unfortunately, narcissists are typically the last ones to ever acknowledge their flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings. When faced with criticism or evidence of their harmful behaviors, they simply raise their defenses even higher. They deflect, they blame, they distort reality to protect their ego. Then they go out and find people to reinforce their false self-image and twisted narratives. They are experts at finding people to breathe life into them, people who will support and enable them in justifying and rationalizing their bad behaviors. Unable to ever truly confront themselves and deal with the shame that’s at the root of their recurring problems.
Read More: 5 Things Narcissists Do When You’re Sick.
Sharing is caring!
