Tactic 5 – Stop offering them supply.
The fifth strategy I’m going to recommend directly switches off the false self. If you want to directly go to the false self and reduce it in power, you must cease to feed them supply. So you stop offering them supply. There is now no more supply. You render them insignificant. It is not a question of shifting from adoration and worship and respect to rudeness and loathing and disrespect and contempt, that’s not the point, you don’t do that. You simply turn down all emotional content. You turn it down. So there’s no longer this emotionality to your relating to them.
You kind of find them a little bit boring and you sort of politely endure their philosophizing, their self-aggrandizing, if you’ve had a narcissist in your life, you’ll know they frequently go into these mini speeches, almost like a stand-up comedian doing a bit or a politician who does like an essay where they’ll be like, ‘I’m the type of person who always,’ and they start self-lionizing and self-aggrandizing and saying how wonderful and moral and committed to whatever principle they are.
So if you start sort of pulling away from that, emotionally, you reduce the supply because you’re reducing your emotional content. When you respond with upset, when you beg for mercy, when you cry, when you are outraged, when you threaten them with dire consequences, when you shake, all of that is emotional content. So you don’t want that. You must turn down the supply by detaching emotionally.
Tactic 6 – Get on with your life.
The sixth strategy that we have is the healthiest strategy, is when you get on with your own life. There is a really difficult tendency, an unfortunate tendency, I should say, in narcissistically abusive relationships because of course, they’ve brainwashed you, you’ve been with them and they’ve brainwashed you into turning your face like a sunflower to the sun. So the sunflower always turns its face to the sun and they’ve grabbed you by the head and ‘Look at me, look at me’, over and over again across a long enough timeline, your brain becomes conditioned to think I must look like a child to a parent to what they think, to what they’re doing because they’re the source of significance and meaning in my world. This is a deliberate brainwashing technique to break down your ego boundaries and put them at the center of the universe.
Recommended Book: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse.
When you train yourself away from this, you face the direction you want to go in. You don’t look at the false sun of them, you look towards the real light in life and you get on with your life. If you can go and get on with your life, with no need to go back to them and no need to send them texts checking in with them or trying to resolve things or trying to get your closure, they will realize that and you will defy their false self as being all significant and all powerful and all attractive and at the center of the universe, and you will create narcissistic mortification.
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