Number 1: An eye roll followed by a deep sigh.
Whenever you say something of importance, it may look like this🙄: An eye roll followed by a deep sigh. It’s basically saying, “Oh my God, I’m so, so done with you. Just shut up already. I don’t want to listen to whatever you have to say because it’s rubbish, it hurts my ears, it’s not about me. You’re complaining, you’re putting me down by expressing your emotions, by telling me how I hurt you. You are criticizing me, you are insulting me. Your job is to villainize me. I am a good person, and you should see me as such regardless of what I put you through.” The moment you open your mouth, you become a liability to them, and they ridicule you, and mock you by making this facial expression. A narcissist may roll their eyes at you to show how insignificant you are and how meaningless what you have to say is. They basically do it to make you feel stupid.
What you need to keep in mind is that a victim can also roll their eyes at the narcissist out of their disgust for those circular conversations and word salad. They can’t take it anymore, so the moment this narcissistic, toxic individual opens their mouth, you may roll your eyes. That’s why context matters. Why you do it matters. Your intention is important. Before questioning yourself, “Am I a narcissist because I also rolled my eyes?” check your intentions. Your intention was not to ridicule them, put them down, or shut them down. No, your intention was to express how done you are with those repetitive actions of theirs, with the same lectures you don’t want to hear anymore.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Number 2: Dead stare in a narcissist’s eyes.
When you express your emotions, they look at you as if a predator is watching you closely, as if they are soaking in all the information and trying to strategize and plan how to use it against you. If you show them you are an empathetic individual or you care about them because they have had a rough childhood, instead of feeling grateful for the space you hold for them, they will now think of how to make you feel guilty every time you think of leaving them because they know you are going to leave them. They know it’s going to end, and this now becomes one more tool, one more way to manipulate you, to make you a slave of your own emotions. That dead stare shows there is no soul within.
I have personally experienced this, and what I have noticed is their eyes get bigger and wider in size; they pop out. Pupils dilate a little bit—that’s what I have noticed, and that’s what I’ve heard from others. So their eyes pop out as if paying close attention. It’s not somebody who is keenly listening to you, who is trying to take note of what you said so that they can repeat it, or, let’s say, try to be an active listener. No, they’re listening only to prey on you.
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