Number 3: They do not look at you when you pour your heart out.
When you tell them what’s hurting you and what needs to be changed, they look over your shoulder at somebody else, or they do something else like writing on a piece of paper. They’re not taking notes; it’s just that they do not want to acknowledge your emotions. This is a strategic move. They know when not to make eye contact, when not to look at you, because they want to invalidate your emotions. Now, you have to be really cautious with this one because a lot of autistic individuals may show this behavior. A lot of people with ADHD may also show this behavior, and normal people—non-narcissistic folks—also do not make eye contact with each other when they are angry.
When talking to someone with autism, pay attention to where they are looking. If they are looking away at something else, they are actually listening to you very closely. But if they are looking directly at you, they may not be listening as well. I gave you that example to show how the same behavior can have different meanings in different situations. You can’t just look at one behavior and assume something about the person. Just because someone doesn’t make eye contact with you when you’re expressing your emotions, that doesn’t automatically mean they are a narcissist. You need to look at the bigger picture, not just one single behavior.
Recommended Book: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse.
Number 4: They fake laugh that changes.
They fake laugh that disappears within seconds, and you will see a serious face within no time. It’s an exaggerated laughter only to please or fool people. It’s not possible for somebody to be laughing so loudly and then have that flat, poker-like face. No, there’s a gradual transition for a lot of people. You’re laughing, then you’re smiling, then it’s more neutral, isn’t it? But for a narcissist, it’s a mask that they put on, and they forget to keep it on.
When that happens, you will see this quick black-and-white kind of situation. They will be laughing, and then the seriousness. It doesn’t make any sense, does it? This contrast between the two facial states shows the lack of genuinely felt happiness. They only know how to follow the script. How do I know this? Well, I have experienced it, and I have a very interesting story to share with you, but that’s for some other occasion.
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