5. “It’s Not My Fault / It’s Your Fault!”
Sooner or later, a narcissist’s selfish and manipulative behavior catches up with them and gets them into trouble. When that happens, they usually try to blame other people instead of taking responsibility. They might even blame the person they hurt, saying it’s somehow their fault.
Another common tactic is making excuses—there’s always some “unexpected” reason why they couldn’t do what they were supposed to do. Sometimes, they even pretend to be the victim, talking about their struggles or bad luck to get sympathy and avoid consequences. All of these tricks are meant to take the focus off the narcissist so no one sees their flaws or failures.
“It’s not our fault that we misplaced your check. You should have called to make sure it wasn’t misfiled.”
― Anonymous bank manager
6. “I’m Here for You / I Care About You / I Love You!”
Narcissists can be incredibly charming and charismatic—when they want to be. Like skilled salespeople, they know exactly what to say to grab your attention and make you believe their flattering words. In personal or romantic relationships, they often express admiration or attraction very quickly, without truly getting to know you.
But the truth is, they want you to feel special, not because they care about you, but because they want something from you. Their sweet talk is often just emotional manipulation, meant to pull you in and get what they want. In romantic situations, they’re usually more in love with the chase than with the person—they see you as a “win” or a prize.
Once they’ve gotten what they came for, they may lose interest and leave you confused, hurt, and wondering if it was somehow your fault.
Suggested Book: It’s Not You _ Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People.
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