7. The narcissist fears not being special.
As you might have guessed by now, the narcissist’s biggest and most daunting fear is being seen as ordinary, or not special. They see themselves as different and better than everyone else. They think they’re above the law, and they see themselves as deserving of special attention and treatment at all times. The idea that they might be anything other than absolutely extraordinary is almost devastating to them.
They want to be the smartest, the richest, or the best-looking person you know. They need others to see them this way. And if you can’t do that, then that doesn’t allow them to stay inside their little narcissist bubble. Narcissists don’t want to be treated just as well as everyone else’s. They don’t want to be treated like everyone else at all. They want to be treated better than everyone else. But forcing them to acknowledge this or even just actively treating them like everyone else will make them feel attacked and demeaned.
8. Narcissists are so afraid of your self-respect.
One of their biggest secrets, and incidentally one of their most intense secret fears is the idea that you might develop self-respect, and Learn, or remember that you’re someone who has value. When you do develop or redevelop self-respect, you’re going to quickly learn that you deserve to be treated with respect.
You’ll start setting boundaries, and you’ll stop taking their crap. This, of course, can lead to all the other fears coming to the surface. Their imperfections will be exposed, they’ll be rejected, which will lead to embarrassment and being found out, and ultimately abandonment, which means they’ll definitely be ordinary.
Bottom line: Narcissists have some pretty deep fears and they would never knowingly let anyone see or know about them, and that’s because letting anyone see their fears would trigger shame, and shame is one more thing that narcissists fear.
Read more: 11 Things to Expect When the Narcissist Knows You Have Figured Them Out
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