4. They manipulate you
“He made me feel like without him, I had no worth. He convinced me I did not mean anything to anyone if he was not in the picture. And he was sweet sometimes. When the good times came, they were great. He was wonderful. But when he was bad, I felt personally responsible because he blamed me for his actions. If I hadn’t said that, he wouldn’t have gotten so angry. If I hadn’t looked at him that way, he wouldn’t have made me cry, things like that.
In retrospect, I feel like an idiot for staying as long as I did, but at the time it made perfect sense. Why would I leave the only thing that gave me worth? I had nothing to offer the world without him. It is taken the longest year of my life to realize that I’m my own person and I‘m worthy, dammit. I am a stronger person because of it.
I stayed because it made me feel like I had a purpose, even if it was doomed from the beginning.”
5. You think it’s an accident
“I did not realize it was abusive until after the fact. At first, I thought it was “just an accident”, “he didn’t know his own strength.” It slowly went to “he didn’t think before he spoke”, “he was just frustrated,” and at one point it was “the cops misunderstood the situation.”
A book: Divorcing A Narcissist And Other Jerks
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