1. Words and actions don’t align
People who are serial gaslighters are real big talkers but never seem to follow through on their word. They make all kinds of promises, and they don’t ever honor. They make all kinds of claims that aren’t true, and never seem to follow through on their word.
And when confronted with these consistent discrepancies, they always have an excuse. More words, more words, but their behavior and their attempts to Gaslight will remain consistent. There will be a pattern of words and actions not matching.
As well as continual blame-shifting and excuses, they will avoid taking any accountability. It’s always someone else’s fault or there were circumstances outside their control, but certainly, it’s never their fault. So their words and their actions will not align.
2. Confusing conversation patterns
Sometimes referred to as word salad, people who Gaslight are very aware of what they’re doing. So they intentionally create these circular conversation patterns, or they change the subject many times and talk in different directions. Many times, they will contradict themselves from one sentence to the next. Talking kind of fast and furious is common, with either no clear direction or circular conversations.
This communication style is used to keep you confused for one and to allow them plenty of room to blame your interpretation of what they said as what’s wrong, rather than what they actually said or promised that they would do. So this communication pattern allows them to escape any accountability for the things that they do, gives them all the freedom in the world to lie, and as well as being able to blame you for the misunderstanding.
So this serves to help destroy your true perceptions over time as well and makes you become more independent on them for your interpretation of reality, which is the ultimate goal.
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