Today’s topic is “How Covert Narcissists Manipulate,” looking at some of the more common tactics that are used by covert or vulnerable narcissists. Tactics that are used to control, manipulate, coerce, guilt, and shame their victims.
And when I’m referring to narcissism, I’m not just talking about someone who can be difficult or stubborn—someone who can be nasty or selfish once in a while. I’m talking about pathological narcissism. When I say pathological, what I mean is that it is persistent; it is consistent. Some of the characteristics could be defined as being disagreeable. There is a sense of self-importance, a sense of entitlement. There is arrogance, a lack of empathy, and there’s been either resistance or sensitivity to criticism.
And there are different kinds of narcissism, which I’ve outlined in previous articles. The most common being the overt or the grandiose narcissist. And the other, on the other extreme, and the topic for today’s article, is the covert or vulnerable narcissist. Now, you may not hear the following things word for word; however, you might recognize variations of them. Other times, these things may be unspoken, but they would still be strongly implied through different behaviors.
And although there may be differences in how they’re used or phrased, these tactics would commonly apply to any long-term relationship with a covert narcissist. That could be a long-term partner, a husband, or a wife. It could be a family member, a friend, or a work colleague.
The expression I often use is, they wet the bed and they blame the blanket. So, let’s look at some of those coercive tactics, and in no particular order:
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