1. Time.
Their favorite tactic is giving you time. This is a tactic that can be used by all Narcissists, whether it is a narcissist in the family, friendship, work, or romantic relationship. The idea is that when the Narcissist knows they have upset you in an attempt to not apologize or address the issue, they give you your space. So, that may include going silent or avoiding you for some time; so that when you come together again, bringing up a past issue would seem very unreasonable.
And they would greet you with all smiles, maybe even bearing gifts and acting like there was never any bad blood between the both of you. The Narcissist is hoping that you play along and that you are receptive to their charm. But above all that, you are open to continuing the relationship as if nothing bad happened or to give the relationship another shot by forgetting everything that ever was and to start a new one.
The problem is, there is nothing new about the Narcissist. They are still up to their old tricks, but they try to make people believe that you can start afresh with them and things will be better. Also, if you insist on talking about what they did, the Narcissist will accuse you of being negative and stuck in the past. They would actually try to convince you that you are a bad person for wanting to bring up the past. And that you need to move forward and focus on the present.
Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist- By DR.Ramani Durvasula.
As I always say, Narcissists have double standards. They are not prepared to give closure or apologies when they are the ones in the wrong. But if the tables were turned and you were the one in the wrong, they would be happy to spend hours talking about it and beating you down with guilt to see you break and make you commit to all sorts in order to make it up to them. This is why we cannot tolerate their hypocrisy; We should not tolerate their double standards.
But back to the issue of time, the Narcissist is hoping that the time they give you will be enough for you to get over what they have done and for you to just carry on without them having to apologize or take accountability for anything specific.
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