Step 1: Recognize and accept that you were abused.
To get through all those dysfunctional trials with your narcissist, to keep the peace and justify staying with them, you had to make excuses for their behavior, minimize their abuse, reinterpret their lies, and tiptoe around their self-delusions.
When you miss them now – and you will – you’re going to start rationalizing again, thinking, “Oh, they’re not so bad.” Don’t fall for it. Remind yourself over and over why you let yourself get manipulated by your narcissistic ex. If not, you might end up dating them again. The best way to do this is to maintain zero contact. Don’t call or text, and block them on social media. There’s a reason the no contact rule is advice given by most experts.
Step 2: Be ready for a rollercoaster of emotions.
Grief is a long and delicate process that comes and goes, sometimes for years, in the mending of the human heart. Spend some time honoring your grief by looking underneath your anger for the sadness.
Recognize the process of inviting yourself back home as you comfort yourself. Feel glad for the emotions you’ve had to hold in for years, even if they’ve been tough. They can finally come out now that you’re with someone who loves and accepts you for who you are – yourself!
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