How to Get Over a Narcissistic Ex (9 Steps)

Step 8: Don’t believe them when they say they will change.

When they fear you’re ready to leave them, narcissists make a lot of promises. They’re great at building up your hopes, only to squander them if you stay. They’ll declare they’ve realized the error of their ways and are now devoted to treating you better. Unfortunately, their altruistic offers are nothing more than a facade to obtain what they desire.

If you made the decision to quit, kudos to you. It’s a difficult thing to do. They are likely to put up a struggle of epic proportions since they aren’t finished with you yet. Narcissists despise losing their source of energy, so don’t expect them to let you go quickly. Expect them to say they’ll change. They might start doing things for you that you’ve been asking them to do all of a sudden. “You’ll be lost without me,” they might say, or “you’ll never find someone like me.”

Do not listen. It’s all a ruse to get you to return to them because they’re afraid. Discontinue all communication with them. Narcissistic relationships can never be totally healthy. And, as long as you give them a place in your current life, you’re unlikely to have a healthy connection. They’ll continue to make your life miserable as long as you let them because they’re so focused on their own need to have you, control you, and keep you.

A Book: Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed.

So, if at all possible, avoid going anywhere where they might be. Please don’t call them unless it’s for a legitimate reason. You can also block them on social media. No contact means precisely what it sounds like- No contact at all. This includes blocking their phone number, ensuring that any emails sent from their address end up in your spam folder, and erasing them from social media. Although difficult, it is the best option because the narcissist will find a way to return sooner or later.

If you shut off their supply, the narcissist will try to contact you, and they’ll know exactly what to say to get you to return. As a result, you must be tough and quick. It’s also a good idea to break up with them via text so they can’t manipulate you anymore. If you leave something at the narcissist’s house, you should just leave it and let it go. Consider it a small price to pay for your own mental health and happiness.

Step 9: Establish boundaries.

Narcissists are masters at intruding into every part of your personal life, including your most personal thoughts. You need to guard yourself against similar connections now that you’ve gotten yourself out of that circumstance. This entails establishing clear guidelines for what you consider acceptable in a relationship.

Then make sure no one crosses those lines. You will be abused if you set limits against a narcissist. Your boundaries will be interpreted in a negative way by them. You will face severe repercussions if you declare your independence. In essence, you’re fighting for your own survival. You will have to surrender your personal identity in order to avoid these consequences from your companion, which is both unacceptable and harmful.

Will I Ever Be Free of You?: How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal Your Family- by Dr. Karyl McBride Ph.D.

You must be strong and steadfast in order to resist the vengeance you will face as a result of setting solid boundaries with the narcissist. Never, ever give up on yourself. And if you liked this article, please don’t forget to share it wherever you can. Many thanks for reading!