1. Establish no contact
Or load attached contact if you share children with the narcissist, and block them from all social media. You cannot heal from trauma when you are continually being exposed to it. Healing will evade a victim and lessor until they have established no contact or loped detached contact.
This is the first step to healing, and in my opinion, it’s mandatory.
2. Do not blame and ridicule yourself
Do not blame and ridicule yourself for not knowing and understanding that this person was a narcissist in the beginning. Hindsight is always 20/20 and narcissists are so good at fooling people. They can get past the radar of even the most educated mental health care professionals.
Victim blaming is the very last thing that you need to do if you’re wanting to heal from this, none of us knew. And this is one of the reasons I’m such a huge advocate for mandatory public school cluster B disorder education as part of the curriculum in high school in college.
Society has to be educated that these people exist and are part of the fabric of our communities. We interact with narcissists and sociopaths every single day, whether we’re aware of it, or not. But regardless, you have to let go of the self-blame and shame for not knowing that you were being preyed upon and exploited.
If you want to heal, leave the blame and shame with the person who earned it.
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