6. Associate with people that are supportive
Only associate with people that are supportive, understanding, and empathetic to what you have gone through and what you’re going to go through. This is so important. Because if you confide in someone, and they say, just get over it, or why did you stay so long? It’s harmful to your healing.
Trauma bonded relationships to narcissists are not normal relationships. And the breakup and healing process is not going to be the same as a normal love relationship. You have been treated with a lack of empathy the entire time you’ve been with the narcissist. As well as had your fill of being victim-blamed and shamed.
So anyone who isn’t kind, supportive, and empathetic to what you have gone through, needs to go. That’s the very last thing that you need at this time in your life. And I am including any professional you might reach out to for help through this. If you hire a therapist, and they don’t seem to get it, or understand the severity of what you have gone through, get rid of them. In my opinion, they are capable of doing far more damage and harm to you than good.
Surround yourself with kind, caring, loving, supportive people who truly get it. This is so important. If they do not listen, validate, and support you, eliminate them during this time.
7. Be intentional with your healing
Healing is a choice. Sometimes it’s a daily or moment-by-moment choice, and it’s not always enjoyable. Healing can have moments of stress and can be emotionally draining at times. Make time for your healing every day through education and personal development.
This is a time of growth. And the more time and energy you put into your healing, the more rewards you will gain from it. Healing takes time, commitment, and effort, but it’s so worth it when you make it to the other side.
8. Take a break from dating
I cannot stress this one enough. If you try and jump into another relationship with someone else before you heal, you run the risk of transferring the trauma bond onto this new person, and you are at a very high risk of attracting another narcissist. Take this time to focus on yourself. Examine the reasons that this happened so that you understand and so that this never happens again.
Learn how to be your own best friend. Learn how to love, validate, and support yourself so that you never look towards another person to do those things for you. This is critical. And once you learn to give those things to yourself, is the moment that the cycle breaks for good. But again, your focus must be on your healing, not on another relationship.
A book: Will I Ever Be Free of You?: How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal Your Family
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