5. Never ever lower yourself
This list is kind of about fluffing up the narcissist’s ego and its gross, but it can kind of help you cope with this person. However, what you would never want to do while you’re fluffing them up and boosting them up, you never actually want to lower yourself. Don’t say things like, well, I’m stupid, so I need advice, or I clearly have no idea what I’m doing, so I need you the expert, the master, the almighty etc… to help me.
Keep your confidence up. You can actually boost their ego without making yourself seem like dirt because you’re not, it’s unnecessary. And you don’t need to portray that kind of a person in front of the narcissist.
The whole thing with somebody who’s narcissistic, it’s really curious and interesting. They want you to be smart, competent, and capable, but not too smart. Again, competent, but not too much. It’s a serious fine line that I’m sure we all realize we kind of have to walk.
And this dips back into the second item on my list. You can say things like, well, I know how I want to do this project and I have a good handle on it, but I just kind of want to past you and see what you think.
And this shows that you want their opinion, so you’re going to them for something even though you don’t, but you know exactly what you’re doing. You don’t really need help, or direction, or guidance, you’re asking for an opinion, something like that.
You should never be lowering yourself to them in any way ever. You’ll get slight respect from a narcissist this way where you’re not as easily intimidated. You don’t insult yourself, you’re not weak and beaten down. When you are low and down on yourself, you get absolutely none, you get no respect, you’re a doormat. And again, you’re not going to get much if you react this way, but it might make things a little bit easier.
6. You can toss out some compliments
I know we’re trying to manipulate these people not give them compliments. Keep in mind though this is a form of manipulation by way of just keeping peace in the relationship, that’s the best way you can actually manipulate them. This is the best way you can win or get one over is just kind of deal with them and maybe try to steer them in a certain direction as long as possible until you go no contact, or gray rock, or move out, or whatever it is you have to do.
This is honestly the best thing you can do, is kind of sort of manipulating things to keep things calm, light, mellow, easy, until you can get out of this situation, so again, keeping the peace. Whether this is romantic, work-related. Friendships, or family, there’s a way to do this whole thing here and getting the best results as far as compliments.
The first thing about complimenting somebody, especially a narcissist is you have to be really sincere about it. You actually do have to mean it when you give them a compliment. And I’m going to explain this because it needs to be explained.
A narcissist can smell a fake a mile away, like blood in the water. You know how as soon as you text them differently, they text you back: What’s wrong? What’s going on? Why are you being short with me? Why are you being mean to me or why are you being so nice? I swear to god, they’re sharks, and it’s blood in the water, especially the covert narcissist.
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