4. They don’t know what true love is!
Another very helpful and healing realization that I came to, is knowing that my abusers will never know true love. They will never know true happiness, nor will they ever feel genuine satisfaction. The closest thing the narcissist will ever experience to feeling those things is narcissistic supply and attention.
They will never know what unconditional love feels like, they will only know how to interpret narcissistic supply. They will never feel the love and happiness that I will. They will spend the rest of their lives trying to fill a never-ending hole with narcissistic supply. They will never know the satisfaction that I feel from the genuine relationships that I have. They will only feel fleeting moments of satisfaction when they are receiving a narcissistic supply. That in and of itself makes us the winners in this nightmare, and I hope that knowing this gives you some peace as well.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
5. Heal yourself.
Another helpful realization I came to is realizing that the only true revenge that I could achieve, the one thing that will hurt the narcissist in my life more than anything is to heal from this and live a happy successful life. That is the absolute last thing that narcissists want for a victim.
Their hope is that they have so severely harmed us emotionally, mentally, financially, and spiritually, that we will be a shell of the person we once were. They want to leave us destitute, broken, shattered and destroyed. I decided that they had taken enough from me. I refused to give them one more day of satisfaction from my heartbreak and suffering.
Sometimes, part of the motivation we need will come from wanting revenge, and I say so be it. But if you want revenge, if you want some form of justice, heal yourself and live a life of extreme happiness and success. That truly is the only revenge that is effective when dealing with a narcissist.
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