3. Triangulation.
The third mind manipulating tactic that they usually will use on a victim is something called triangulation. They will try and pit you against an ex-partner, or someone that they work with, a friend, or even a stranger that they begin to flirt with in front of you to gauge your reaction.
Narcissists love to try and triangulate the current supply to see how jealous or possessive they can make him or her. Of course, they’re famous for telling the new supply that the old supply is insanely jealous. It was a nightmare to get away from them. They are crazy and unstable.
This serves to manipulate the new supply into filling pity and protection for the narcissist, as well as ensures that if the old supply reaches out to the new supply to warn him or her that the person in their life now is dangerous, that they’ll ignore the warnings and instead believe the narcissist that this person is unstable and jealous.
4. Negative or sarcastic humor.
Another very popular mind game tactic that they like to use pretty early on is negative or sarcastic humor. They start the devalue cycle many times with put-downs and criticisms disguised as a joke. They’re gauging how much you’re willing to put up with, and how you will react. And, of course, if you get upset, they can manipulate you by saying: it’s just a joke, you’re being too sensitive to lighten up.
Eventually, these jokes will get more and more abusive until the narcissist no longer even masks them as jokes. It becomes just flat-out verbal and emotional abuse.
5. Pretend ignorance.
A fifth mind game tactic that they will typically always use to one degree or another is, pretend ignorance. If and when you confront them on their bad or abusive behavior, or when you catch them red-handed in a lie, they will claim that they had no idea what they did was wrong. Or that they honestly didn’t have the right information, so they aren’t responsible for lying to you. They will profess that they are completely ignorant to whatever it is you’re confronting them with.
And what’s infuriating about this tactic is deep down you know no one is this stupid. You know no one could be that blind or ill-informed to actually completely be knowledgeable about whatever it is they’re claiming to be ignorant of. But because they are so persistent, and because they absolutely insist that they did not know, eventually, we will cave and accept this ridiculous response and accept it as truth.
A book: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse
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