#6: Now let’s talk about how a narcissist will even redefine what the word peace means.
Peace to you might mean living in a space where someone’s lies, unpredictable moods, and gaslighting don’t exist. It’s not constantly throwing your nervous system into overdrive. Sounds peaceful, right? Well, to a narcissist, peace means silence. Not silence on their part, of course. They can do whatever they want, but their peace is your silence. And listen, I am such a huge fan of peace myself. I think getting out of a relationship like this gives you a whole new perspective on peace. Whereas before you might have taken it for granted, but when you get to the other side of something like this, you realize that your peace is to be protected at all costs.
Because when you’re in this relationship, everything’s turned upside down. You want answers and reassurance. You want to stop walking on eggshells because you so desperately want to feel peace again. But every effort you make to get back there is met with resistance. And after a while, the narcissist will tell you that you just love drama and chaos. You must hate peace because you’re always disturbing it, which is wild because peace was your very goal in the first place. They like to act like they’d be living some kind of zen life if you weren’t around. But we all know that’s not true. They’re the ones starting all the fires and blaming you for noticing.
Narcissists love drama. They just hate accountability. So to a narcissist, peace means being able to start all the fires they want and you pretending not to notice. Their peace is your silence. And the more you comply, the more the pressure builds until you’re not quiet because you’re calm and feeling peaceful, but because you’ve been conditioned not to speak. And there’s a whole world of inner conflict going on inside sometimes when you have to be calm on the outside and you can’t express yourself.
And that’s when you start to have this inner war, like an inner conflict that’s raging. Because let’s be real, sometimes it’s just easier to stay quiet, to let it go and avoid the fight. But let’s never confuse that silence with peace. If having peace outside in the external world means absolute chaos in year, that is no kind of peace. That is purely compliance.
And although sometimes it’s necessary to bite your tongue depending on the situation, it’s super important to deal with that inner chaos on your own afterwards because unfortunately it doesn’t just go away. This is how the narcissist hijacks your own words the moment they feel you slipping out of their control. And unfortunately, these are probably the words that mean the most to you. They twist the meaning of love, respect, and truth until control sounds reasonable, and silence feels like safety. And you may have noticed that a lot of these Uno reverse tactics are pretty passive aggressive. You’ll see this with any type of narcissist, but it’s the go-to move of the covert narcissist, and it goes even deeper than these six words. So, click here to learn more words the covert narcissist uses to keep you under control.
Read More: 6 Narcissist’s Favorite Sayings.
