3. Denying them instant gratification.
In a paper published by psychologists Simine Vazire and David C. Founder in personality and social psychology review, the authors argue, based on the extensive meta-analysis of the literature on narcissism, that one of the key traits of narcissistic personalities is their impulsivity.
They claim, based on literature, that narcissists almost always prioritize immediate gratification, especially in the areas that serve their so-called “ego-enhancement strategies”: social status, social recognition, and short-term positive emotions over their long-term goals. What will make a narcissist really angry is denying them instant pleasure in those domains, which they believe they deserve by default.
4. Pinging their particular insecurity.
It is well established that the more grandiose narcissist’s defenses are, the more insecure they are likely to fundamentally be. They can be insecure about their looks, intelligence, status, money, popularity, or any other area of life that is likely to be judged by extremely superficial standards by other people.
Since people with narcissistic personalities are completely fixated on manifestations of those superficial qualities, they can easily enter into a shame-based rage fit if you try to point out that they have, like all other people, deficits in those areas. While the so-called benign narcissists might be vapid, inane, and superficial, the more malignant types can also be psychologically or physically dangerous, which is why it is advisable that you don’t provoke them.
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