1. Threats.
The first one and the most common one I think that is used specifically in narcissistically abusive relationships is threats. The narcissist might say to their victim: “If I ever catch you with another man or woman, you won’t live to see another day. Or they might say: “If you don’t do XYZ when you get home, I’ll make sure you never forget to do it again. Or the narcissist might say: “If you ever do XYZ, I will ruin you, I will ruin your life, your reputation, and I will take the kids and leave you homeless and penniless on the street.”
These are all examples of what coercive control could look like. It is a form of psychological and emotional terrorism.
DR.Ramani Durvasula: Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist.
2. Monitoring Your Time.
Another way narcissists utilize coercive control is by monitoring your time, your whereabouts, your online activity, your spending, telling you where you are allowed to go and where you are not allowed to go, monitoring how many miles you put on the car, telling you who you are allowed to see and talk to and who you are not allowed to see and talk to. They very well might put spyware on your computer or a range for flying monkeys to help them keep tabs on exactly what you are doing.
They are known for putting tracking devices on your car or setting up Nanny cams in the house, but they want you to know they are watching you. And if you do anything that you are not allowed, then you know without them having to say a word that you will be in danger and there will be hell to pay.
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