Number five: “I’m busy.” Or, “I don’t have time.”
What? How dare you? Back that up with some powerful silence, certain in your energy, in the energy that you carry. What happens? Crushed. Mission accomplished.
Number 6: “You have to stop… Now.”
Look, narcissists have the emotional intelligence of barbarians, for real, but selectively so, depending on who’s watching. They also have no limits and no boundaries like I said earlier. So if you are in a situation where you have no choice or for whatever reason, you are choosing to continue to engage with this empathy-impaired, conscious-less, emotional manipulator, toxic perpetrator, toxic individual, it’s fully going to be up to you to learn how to set healthy limits and boundaries.
And if you say: “But I can’t,” or “I don’t know how,” no sweat. Learn, and develop this skill. You can do this. I promise you there was a time when I had no idea how to set a limit or boundary with anyone in my life. Why? Because I was raised by a bunch of emotional barbarians who had no limits or boundaries.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
So if we are taught how to develop them, if we don’t carry them, if no one models that for us from a young age, and furthermore when we’re taught that we don’t even have the right to limits and boundaries, which is the truth for many of us who have grown up in, high levels of dysfunction and narcissistic abuse. Of course, we land in adulthood not knowing how to set healthy limits and boundaries.
But the thing is if you want to put an end to the abuse and you’re in a situation where for whatever reason you can’t or won’t go full-blown no contact, you might have a very good reason. It could involve a child or an elderly parent or whatever, where you have to stay engaged or you’re choosing to stay engaged with this type of person; it’s absolutely fully going to be onto you to learn how to develop healthy limits and boundaries. You have to learn how to do that for yourself. Establish them, back them up, hold the line and hold firm. There’s no other way.
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