3. The narcissist will hurt you
Remember, you have injured the narcissist. It’s a narcissistic injury, and that is how narcissists respond when you establish boundaries, or you leave them, or you put any kind of parameters or rules in place of how you want to be treated.
And when you’re just set up, and you leave, Can you imagine the narcissist is very injured? And they are very good at playing the victim when this happens. Mostly watch out because they are going to want revenge. So the narcissist will try to hurt you.
Some examples of this, and I hope it’s not physical abuse, and If it is, I encourage you to call the number of the National Domestic Violence hotline, I’ve called that number before just to have an ear when I was going through leaving the narcissist. So I encourage you to do the same if you feel like you are in physical danger or just need some help mapping out your decisions,
So anyway, the narcissist fool trying to hurt you and maybe things, like, not give you the money that you’re entitled to when leaving the relationship, stealing things from you, hurting your time with the kids, or not returning the kids on time.
I was even shown pictures of the woman that the narcissist was dating after our divorce was final, and he would scroll to his phone and show me all the women that he was dating. it really hurts. Now, I would probably ask what? Do they know you’re dating them? But anyway, it hurts. It hurts deeply. So the narcissist will try to injury you.
4. The narcissist will move on quickly
The narcissist doesn’t want to look in the mirror. He doesn’t want to feel any pain, or suffering, or even just a small amount of regrets. So it’s easier to band-aid on themselves by dating, or getting involved, or even marrying someone else. Think about it.
The mind of a narcissist is a really unhappy place. And I often ask myself, would I want to be that person or when I want to be in their head? And for me, the answer is absolutely not.
5. The narcissist will be in denial
Again, at the narcissistic injury, it’s easier to be the victim or to say oh, she’s gonna cool off, or oh, he’s gonna cool off. I’ll just give him some time, it’s worked before if I just play it cool. Give them the silent treatment. Be passive-aggressive, whatever it is.
Sometimes, those of us when we’re done, we’re done, that’s it, I’m not going back. And if the narcissist has pushed you that bar and you decided you’re not going back, the narcissist may still come around and denial. And what this looks like for me was, he showed up, after the divorce was final, and cried, and said, ” Laura, I can’t believe that you’ve taken it this far, the divorce has been final for a month or two, and this is your last chance to make things right.
I thought the day to have done that would have been the day before we went to court to finalize this, But why are you doing it now? And there may be some subtle slams in there too. Are they thank you to come back or they show what they’re denying.
A book: Will I Ever Be Free of You?: How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal Your Family.
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