Number 3: They gaslight.
Gaslighting is how the narcissist works to cause you to doubt yourself, your feelings, your experience, as well as your perception of reality. It’s a form of emotional and psychological abuse and it only works if you let it. When the narcissist realizes they can no longer control you or your perception of them and playing dumb and casting themselves as the victim hasn’t had the desired effect on you, they’ll double down on their efforts by attempting to gaslight you.
Again, it’ll sound like this: “No, I never said that. We never agreed to that. That’s not what happened, and, of course, you’ve misunderstood.” And you’ll know you’re being gaslight, not only because you know what you live, you know what you heard, you know exactly what they did and did not do, what they did and did not say, but more importantly, when their efforts to gaslight you don’t work, the narcissist’s true colors will really start to shine through as the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde persona swings with tremendous intensity.
They’ll swing back and forth as they struggle to control how you see them through their gaslighting tactics, while simultaneously becoming progressively more and more frustrated by the fact that they’re losing dominion and control over you. Whatever you do, don’t argue and don’t defend yourself. Instead, hold your ground and give them all the rope they want, then stand back and watch as they hang themselves by going on to further expose the real truth of who they actually are.
Number 4: Manipulate and control others’ perceptions.
When the narcissist can no longer control you, they’ll work overtime to control how others see you, what they think of you, and how they feel about you. This, of course, will be done covertly behind your back, narcissists being the toxic little cowards that they are but make no mistake. They will go out of their way to poison the hearts and minds of others towards you, including children, adolescents, and young adults; anyone they have influence over. They’ve probably already been working overtime to create loyalty conflicts with those who are easily influenced.
So don’t be surprised when these children you’ve been nothing but kind start behaving poorly towards you. Or, adults who hardly know you look at you sideways with zero provocation. You can be sure the narcissist has been in their ear with all manner of nonsense. In addition, if your ability to discern who and what causes enough narcissistic injury, you can bet they’ll run a classic years-long smear campaign, painting you as all the things that they themselves are and then some, which brings me to my next point.
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