What you don’t want to do is you don’t want to think externally primarily. And by that, what do I need to do to make my externals look better and feel better? How do I make that person understand me? In other words, if you can just get that narcissistic person out there to be okay, then you’ll be all right. Instead, you want to be internal in your drive and in your motivation. Ask yourself from the inside out, ‘Why am I needing to move away from this person?’ And I’m hoping internally that your intrinsic response is, ‘I can do better, and I deserve better. I’m meant for something more than just being someone’s source of supply. I’m certainly not going to be anyone’s verbal or emotional punching bag.’
Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
And then also, let’s recognize that now in retrospect, you can see that that narcissist is going to keep coming back to you because they sort of assume that they could not control you. It’s almost as though they selected you to be the one that says, ‘You’re going to do my bidding.’ Well, you know what? I’m not going to be your selected source anymore. I am no one’s tool; I’m no one’s source for this erratic kind of life, you see? I’m free; I’m competent; I’m responsible; I’m reasonable. I’m going to live into my intrinsic value. I’m going to be no one’s source of neurotic living. I’m under no illusion that the narcissist is going to be anything other than narcissistic. I get it. And so, I’m hoping that there can be this inside-out mindset that you carry with you that says, ‘If the narcissist feels just terribly injured, and they’re going to come at me with all of this fear and threat and anger that comes with them, the bottom line is that makes it even more necessary for me to lean into my healthy way of life. And if the narcissist is unable to be decent and responsible, that’s no longer my problem to have to solve.’
When you reject a narcissist, the narcissist is not going to go down easy. It’s sad to say, but there are just times when you have to protect yourself. And in doing so, I hope that you can be committed to your own good thinking, your own good resolve, and that motives. And as you do, I’m hoping that you can get away from that person that creates chaos. And instead, you can find your place of well-deserved peace.
Read More: 4 Things Narcissists Do When They Can’t Control You.
Sharing is caring!
