Number 3: Projection.
Here’s where they quite literally will accuse you, as well as tell anyone else who will listen, that you are the one who’s guilty of doing all the things, all the things they’ve actually done to you, as well as accuse you of being all the things, all the things they actually are. You’ll be accused of committing all the relationship crimes they themselves have committed, and then they’ll throw in some extra, just for good measure. You’ll be the one who’s lied, cheated, was so abusive, such a bully.
According to them, you’re the one who needs psychological help. Whatever resides in their own disowned shadow self will be cast all over you. And for the record, this is a good time to put some distance between you and the narcissist, in so much as you’re able. Whatever you do, do not engage. It doesn’t get better from here. The less energy and attention you give to the narcissist, their projections, and distorted perception of you in reality, the less you feed the monster, the better.
Number 4: They’ll gather the troops.
This is where they go out of their way to manipulate the perceptions of others towards you, and needless to say, never for the better. They’ll plant little seeds, make derogatory remarks, and even make things up if motivated enough. Complete fabrications for no other purpose than to assassinate your character and poison the minds and hearts of others towards you. And here’s the thing, not only are narcissists highly toxic, but at their core, despite outward appearances, narcissists are very insecure. Even if they don’t appear that way on the surface, I promise you, they are. Think about it.
People with healthy self-esteem are able to stand on their own without needing others to be aligned with them against their target, but narcissists can’t. Why is that? Because they’re insecure, shameful little cowards, and insecure, shameful little cowards are likely to do and say whatever they deem necessary in order to turn others against their perceived enemy while simultaneously casting themselves in an innocent, blameless, and positive light. Good, kind, healthy, loving, decent people don’t play these games. The narcissists do all day long.
Number 5: The discard.
Now, once the mask slips and they know you know, you aren’t buying the dog and pony show anymore, there’s no supply to be had here, you’re done for real. If you haven’t left first, there’s a really good chance you’ll be discarded, but not before they seek out another source of supply, which brings me to number six.
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