2. Trying to win back the narc’s love
Victims tend to stay in toxic relationships because they are so desperately trying to win the narcissist’s attention and affection. You’re trying to win them over, and this puts you on the Hampshire’s will, trying to please the narcissist. And this is exactly what the narcissist wants. This is their narcissistic supply.
You become addicted to the narcissist’s approval, attention, and love, and through gaslighting, control, and intermittent conditional love because the narcissist’s love is conditional. So the narcissist assists again. They’re nice to you here and then they pull back. They give you love and then they pull back. That is the manipulation. That is abuse.
And so, the narcissist has you backed in a corner of self-blame, and you desperately trying harder to win them over. So you’re on that hamster’s wheel.
3. Holding out for hope/change
You stay in this toxic relationship because you are holding out on the elusive promise or hope that the narcissist will change or that things will get better in the relationship.
But you need to recognize that you cannot change a narcissist, and nothing about the relationship will change or improve because the narcissist will only continue to deflect excuses and justify their bad behavior, and they will never come to terms with themselves that they have a problem. And the cause of the issues within the relationship is because of them.
You have to understand that you can’t change anybody that doesn’t want to change. Narcissists don’t want to change. They don’t see that they have a problem. They don’t see that they’re hurting you and abusing you. Narcissists lack a genuine sense of self. In order to change, it has to come from within, and narcissists are incapable of that. They cannot self reflect.
4. Fear of being alone
Narcissists are skilled and masters at destroying your social circle and isolating you from your family and your friends. And as a result, the narcissist has to negatively program you to believe that you need them, that you are nothing without them. The narcissist has complete control over you, and this creates an unhealthy dependency.
A book: Will I Ever Be Free of You?: How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal Your Family.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
