Number 3: You’re confused a lot.
You often feel like you live in a fog, and you constantly doubt and second-guess yourself, your experience, and your perception of reality. You lack self-confidence, particularly in your ability to make good decisions. You don’t trust yourself, and you often question whether or not you are the one who’s actually the issue. This is an effect of having been gaslit to such a degree that you actually start believing their narrative about who you are and who you are not. And the way out of the confusion is to remove yourself from the toxic relationships, heal, and repair the damage done, while rebuilding trust in yourself.
Number 4: Negative self-talk and criticism.
You suffer from debilitating negative self-talk and criticize yourself a lot, maybe even relentlessly. Narcissists really enjoy chipping away at our self-esteem, and over time, they’re really good at convincing their targets that they’re the dysfunctional, abusive, crazy one, inadequate, and unworthy.
Here’s the thing about that. As highly empathic people, we more than anybody take on all of that projected self-loathing. Energetically, we absorb it, and it becomes part of our subconscious programming. So, know where the negative self-talk is coming from, and do the work to reprogram your beliefs about yourself and how you fit into this world. It takes work for sure, but it’s easier than you might think. And I promise you, you’re worth the effort.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Number 5: Hypervigilance.
You are hypervigilant and you worry constantly about not rocking the boat, making waves, upsetting the apple cart, or upsetting or disappointing the narcissist in any way. Hypervigilance is a survival strategy designed to help you cope with a chaotic and often psychologically abusive environment. People close to destructive narcissists adapt by becoming hypervigilant to threats or attacks. Given what they live, they are always on guard, seeking to anticipate and potentially avoid being in the line of fire. And this hypervigilance you’ve developed is something the narcissist rather enjoys. It gives them a feeling of power, dominance, and control – three things people with a destructive narcissist personality pattern literally get high on for real.
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