Number 1: When you expose their true nature.
A narcissist may paint you black and never ever try to hoover you back if you unequivocally expose their true nature. If you show proof of their abuses and their manipulations to others, maybe through public exposure or in a way that ruins their carefully crafted image, be prepared for fierce resistance, retaliation, and intense backlash. They will spread rumors about you, launching smear campaigns at every turn, and they will permanently discard you, hating on you with a passion until the day that they die.
In this case, the narcissist will never change their mind about you because doing so would completely discredit them and damage their fragile ego. Instead, they will double down on their negative narrative about you, smear your reputation to anyone who will listen, and retaliate at every opportunity. To them, maintaining their own delusion of being flawless and faultless is the priority, even if it means rewriting history and vilifying you forever.
Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
Number 2: If you experience significant failures or problems.
If you experience significant failures, problems, or an illness that causes you to lose face, status, or your ability to provide services and resources. Narcissists are extremely concerned with their image, reputation, and having their needs met. They thrive on being associated with success, power, and attractiveness. So, when a partner’s circumstances change in a way that could damage the narcissist’s image or when you have nothing of value to offer them, they will usually choose to dissociate from you and distance themselves to protect their own status, often discarding you like they never even knew you.
Their lack of empathy and selfishness does not allow them to view their partner’s struggles as a shared challenge to overcome together; rather, they view it as a liability that could reflect poorly on them. In their minds, it’s easier to cut ties and erase the existence of you and the relationship rather than risk any damage to their own reputation and their access to services and resources.
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