Number 4: Do not enable them.
And you can do this simply by saying no to them or by not buying into the justification and rationalization they bring to the table any time a light is shining on their appalling attitudes and behavior. We recently had an experience where one narcissistic person told us what another narcissistic person had said in our absence. It involved taking something I had said and completely distorting it for no other reason than to make me look and sound as bad as possible. Feel threatened much?
Now, much to the tattletale’s surprise, my husband and I don’t just sweep this sort of thing under the rug, give liars a pass, and pretend it didn’t happen. When someone brings something to our door, we actually deal with it head-on. We’re about open lines of communication and honest adult conversations. Well, needless to say, this made the tattletale very uncomfortable because she was now in jeopardy of getting in trouble. So, she started making up all kinds of excuses as to why her narcissistic sibling would say what she said and why she is the way she is and does the things she does.
Read More: 8 Ways Narcissists Spy On You.
And as so often happens in sick family systems, narcissistic family members enable one another, big time. And as a result, the patterns persist decade after decade, generation after generation, with untold damage being done and everyone going along with it as if this is perfectly normal and acceptable. It’s insane and hurtful and destructive.
When the justifications and rationalizations didn’t fly, the tattletales swung right into manipulation mode—tears and all, playing the victim to a situation she herself created. She brought a bucket of toxicity to our doorstep, and we weren’t getting on the enabler bus. Neither were we falling for the manipulative tactics. Rather, we were about dealing with it like healthy, sane, rational adults.
Read More: 5 Sadistic Things Narcissists Find Entertaining.
Well, suffice to say, now she’s mad at me. Seriously, can you imagine that? When you dump that nonsense in my lap, here’s a clip: Don’t bring stuff to my doorstep if you don’t want it to be addressed. If you’re looking for someone to gossip with, if you’re looking for someone to enable you in your dysfunctional family, I am not your girl.
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