Secret #1: Unconditional love is just a fancy word for acceptance.
When we accept our partners, that means that we don’t necessarily always have to love their behavior, their perspectives, or their attitudes about certain things. And in many relationships those differences quickly become tests.
How quickly can I have him evolve his perspective? How quickly can I have him abandon that behavior? And that now all of a sudden creates a very combative environment, now it’s me versus him. We become opponents and not teammates.
Unconditional love which put in every fortune cookie in the world, it’s just a fancy way of saying, ” accept him, accept her, accept the differences. Accept that you might not always be Aligned. Accept that their behaviors fluctuate, accept the good, and accept the bad.
That’s what unconditional love looks like, and that is a key component to a healthy and happy relationship.
Secret #2: Don’t take things Personally.
That’s a really big one. And it kind of bleeds into secret number one. Because sometimes when our partner has bad behavior or does something that we don’t like, and we insist that they change and they don’t, we somehow personalize it.
He doesn’t change because I’m not good enough. He doesn’t change because I’m not the one. And all of a sudden his difference or her difference is somehow about me, and that’s not necessarily true. So don’t take things personally.
If he or she is in a bad mood, if they come back from work stressed out, help them find ways to manage their stress rather than personalizing their stress.
Finding ways to help your partner manage their stress rather than personalizing their stress is a big secret that sustaining happiness and love.
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