Secret #3: Knowing the appropriate time to talk about conflict.
This is something that also is really challenging in a breakup because we’re pissed, or something happens and we don’t like it, and we want to talk about it right now. Or in the middle of an argument, we decide is the appropriate time to talk about something that bothered us months ago. And before we know it, what was once a little disagreement is now a fuming argument, and we’re not on speaking terms. And this is as true in a breakup as it is in a relationship timing.
Knowing when to talk about things that are on your mind is essential to a happy long-term relationship. It’s essential to talk about things that bother you when you’re no longer actively angry about them.
If you’re having a moment let the steam exit the potty and take a run. Take a walk, take a nap, read a book, hang out with a friend. Get out of the house, do what you got to do to kind of come back to ground zero of your emotions. And wait even a day or a couple of days later to say: ” Hey listen, you know the other night we got into a bit of an argument, and at the time I was really hurt because of the X Y & Z thing, and I’d like to know what your feedback on that is.”
Create a conversation and not a monologue about why they screwed up. Approach the conflict from a stance of curiosity rather than from control. Instead of saying you need to fix this, you ask what are your thoughts on how that made me feel. Get honest feedback. Know the way your partner’s mind works. And this is an open book test and making him happy, making her happy. Making this last becomes a lot less work and a lot and a lot more intuitive.
A book: Anxiety disorders In Women – The Ultimate Resource Guide
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