Number 3: “No.”
No is a full sentence. And many of you need to learn how to say it and mean it. Like say it and actually back it up. Actually mean it. And the best way to do that is to say No. No is a full sentence. No, One word. Silence. Let the silence that follows speak for itself. And the truth is, narcissists aren’t really good at taking no for an answer.
Like those of us who have been dealing with these emotionally toxic manipulators know they don’t necessarily just give up and roll over and get all respectful of you and respect your wants, your needs, your preferences, your wishes, your desires, and your healthy limits and boundaries. So you might have to repeat yourself. That’s true. But when the narcissist comes at you and tests you for not taking no for an answer, I think the best thing that you can say to them is: “I’ve already given you my answer.” And silence. Let the silence speak for itself. Super succinct, and super clear.
Easier said than done for some of you for sure. Those of us who have been narcissistically abused by our family of origin, by relationship after relationship, long-term marriage, those of us who have been emotionally and psychologically abandoned, neglected, abused, tortured, Undermined, sabotaged, criticized, diminished, demeaned, had our self-esteem pummeled into the dirt, those of us who have been gaslit our whole lives, it doesn’t come easy initially.
But I promise you this: a little practice goes a long way. Add to that some real healing and recovery work for yourself specific to codependency, adult child syndrome, and narcissistic abuse, it gets a whole lot easier. “No”, it’s a full sentence. Learn how to say it.
Number 4: “I can’t.” Or, “I won’t.”
Let it land. Let the silence speak for itself. What you’re saying fundamentally is, no narcissistic supply to be had here. Bye!
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