Number 3: “I’m just being honest.”
Narcissists use this phrase to make their negative comments about you seem like they’re just sharing an observation or opinion when it’s a manipulative way to put you down. Narcissists can’t handle criticism, so they will use this phrase to avoid having to hear your side of things. They also use this phrase to make themselves seem like the victim, even though they’re the ones who are being mean. If someone is saying something hurtful to you and says: “I’m just being honest”, don’t take them seriously. Narcissists are probably not being honest at all; often they’re just trying to control the situation.
Number 4: “You’re lucky to have me.”
Narcissists use this phrase to make you think you’re the lucky one. You’re likely to have been told this often by your narcissistic partner, but it’s not true. They don’t care about anyone but themselves, so when they say: “You’re lucky to have me”, they don’t mean it. Narcissists use this phrase because it makes you feel indebted to them, and it makes them feel Superior. They know exactly how to play on your emotions to get you to do what they want and use that knowledge relentlessly.
Narcissists manipulate you by making you feel lucky to have them in your life. They’ll tell you that without them, you’d be nothing and that their presence makes life worth living. They’ll let you know that they’re the only one who understands you or that no one else could ever love you as much as they do. And while it might seem like a compliment at first, we fall for this trap and become more susceptible to this manipulation over time. We start believing that maybe it’s true; perhaps we are lucky to have this person in our lives.
Number 5: “This is our problem, not theirs.”
When you have a problem, it’s a good idea to reach out to people who can help. Narcissists don’t think that way; they only want you to talk about what’s going on internally, so they don’t have to deal with outside stressors. This phrase is designed to make you feel like you’re in this together, even when they’re being total jerks. But they mean that they want to keep the issue internal and between the two of them, so they can keep up their Perfect Image without looking bad in front of others.
Narcissists are notorious for blaming you for any problems in your relationship, and it’s not just that they blame you; they shift the blame from themselves to you in a way that makes you feel like it’s your fault and no one else is. Our problem implies that two people are involved in the problem. Still, when one person is a narcissist, they don’t see themselves as part of the problem, so while the other person may have been involved in creating the situation, narcissists are not responsible for its outcome.
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