1. Your values are different.
These things are such a big thing that so many people overlook them because they think, give it 12 years down the line, I can persuade him to have children. And that is not how relationships work.
If you have different values of marriage, of children, of adopting, maybe having your own being a surrogate partner or your political views. If they are vastly different, you can never ever make this relationship work because there will be a moment in life that pops up and you think, hang on a minute, I really want to do this thing but my partner doesn’t, what do I do?
2. You keep your guard up.
If you find yourself trying to hold back on conversations and not letting yourself emotionally merge into another person, take this as a sign that something is wrong. Your gut knows it, your brain, your heart knows it, and you are keeping those walls up. And if you have walls, you cannot have a relationship. Well, one that would be healthy and a very long-term one at that.
3. There is too much lust.
Believe it or not, I just said that. Now, fireworks happen, you feel amazing at the start of a relationship. But if there is just too much lust, it could be that you are both blindsiding yourself about the actual relationship.
Because when the sparks have run their course, you could say that’s when the real relationship actually kicks in. That’s when you have to be dependent on each other. and you’re so comfortable.
And if you find yourself feeling lonely, when you are not engaging in a lustful period, and you are struggling with conversations, well, take this as a fact that you only see this relationship as a physical thing and it is not going to blossom into a long-term relationship.
4. Your friends and family do not approve.
I am not talking about arranged relationships here, I’m talking about the average joe family. If you take your partner to your parent’s house, and your parents say, you know what, this person is not suited for you for these reasons and your friends agree, take this as fact that you are currently being blinded by your love goggles.
Remember, your friends and family can subjectively see the relationship on the outskirts, and they know you really well. So you may be overwhelmed with lustful feelings, cute fireworks, and all the jazz that happens at the start of a relationship. But deep down, these friends can see the holistic side of the relationship, and they will say you know, what this person is not for you, kick them to the curb and find someone a lot better.
Now, you will find that some people will just stay with this partner because they think it was really good, to begin with, the fireworks, it was amazing. However, please take off those goggles and really think about the long-term commitment of this relationship.
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