Number 3: Quit identifying yourself as a people pleaser or a fixer.
It is understandable that empaths want to take pride in their ability to help others, make people happy, and fix other people’s problems or conflicts. Empathy is a virtue that is highly valued and of course, people want to identify as empaths. However, it is important that if anyone does want to identify as an empath, they don’t need to take the people pleaser or fixer traits to heart.
A great way to stop being taken advantage of by others is to stop identifying yourself as someone who would be taken advantage of. This doesn’t mean verbally or physically labeling yourself as those types of people, but if you ever find yourself mentally telling yourself you are a people pleaser, stop it. By labeling yourself as this type, you’ll feel compelled to act accordingly when someone asks for help but you don’t have the emotional resources to do so.
Every empath needs to remind themselves that they are more than just an empath. They are more than helpers, fixers, and people pleasers. They are their own individuals with their own unique identities and do not need to adhere to any expectations they don’t feel comfortable with to make someone else happy.
Number 2: Stop holding onto your double standards.
Empaths are excellent at giving good, healthy, well-thought-out advice to others. However, they aren’t the best at always taking their own advice. They’ll often tolerate abuse or bullying far longer than they would tell anyone else to. They might feel like they were responsible for or deserved the abuse or mistreatment. Yet they would never let anyone else feel that way about themselves.
Thus, a great tip for damaged empaths is to stop the double standards they hold of themselves. If an empath wouldn’t advise their friend to behave in a certain way, then they should not either.
Number 1: Don’t hold yourself responsible for other people’s emotions if you are confident you’ve done nothing wrong.
Similar to the last point, empaths need to learn to not hold themselves responsible for other people’s emotions. Because of their good nature and desire to fix people, empaths often feel like it is up to them to make people happy and comfortable even if it means sacrificing their own well-being.
An empath needs to remind themselves that while it is fine to try their best at making people happy, at the end of the day, they are only responsible for their own emotions. If someone is unhappy by the way an empath is behaving, and the empath is confident their behavior is acceptable, then it is not the empath’s responsibility to change to make the other person happy. The other person can either learn to accept the behavior or simply leave.
Read More: How to Heal from CPTSD Caused by Narcissistic Abuse.
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